Couples / Marital Therapy

Couples work is dynamic. Because there are two people working together to find solutions and because each partner is influenced by the other, couples therapy is a natural fit for a solution-focused approach. Couples usually come to see me at a critical point in their relationship.They are hoping to accomplish something quickly, to see visible signs of improvement, and I work to support and leverage that motivation.

After twenty-five years of seeing couples, I can say that there are two guiding principles that I utilize in sessions and that are absolutely necessary for a successful outcome.

First, I am extremely conscious that the trust couples give me to be objective and fair. I am diligent about understanding each partner's position and then helping each to understand the other's. Bad marriage counseling is often a function of one partner feeling connected with the therapist, and the other not. Not surprisingly, this only fuels the couple's conflict.

Second, I work with couples to describe their desired outcome right from the beginning. Although a context for the problem is important to understand, most couples come to therapy as "experts" on what each other is doing that's at fault. Too much recapping of one another's complaints is often just a replay of what the couple is doing at home. The questions that I ask allow the couple to shift their paradigm and begin to work toward common and agreed-upon goals.